How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize