I just made out with a guy for $7.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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