I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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