I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
