we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
