They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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