I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
