I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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