They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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