JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
