DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
