My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
