I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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