At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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