I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
