We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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