I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
