do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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