If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
