I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
