I'm laying in your front yard are you home
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
