I accidentally burped into my bong.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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