Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
