Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
