You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize