I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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