I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
