Im at strip club and am horny
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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