absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
