im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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