i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
