how do flat chested girls get laid?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
