he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
