you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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