I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
