I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
