ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
