after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
