Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Non-Jews are for practice
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
