I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
