I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
