We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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