So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
