sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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