He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
