she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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