their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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