I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
