I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize