Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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