We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
