Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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