he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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