I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
