do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
