So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
