i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
