it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
