You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
