So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
