I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize