we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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