just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
