I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
