Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
