so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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