so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
