my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
