Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
